The Malchior Files
by Zoicytes-Shadow
Summary: Sometimes one sided, sometimes mutual MalxRae. Malchior is so tired of being locked in a book. Mild OOC may ensue
1. Long Hard Road Out Of Hell

Raven sat in her room attempting to read a book and ignore Malchior's rants. After a moment of blessed silence, he spoke once more. She attempted to steel herself.

"Raven if you don't let me out I shall sing."  
"W-What?" She was clearly taken aback. "You're kidding."  
"I want to fly into your sun

Need faith to make me numb  
Live like a teenage christ  
I'm a saint, got a date with suicide.."  
"You really aren't kidding..." Raven managed, now holding her book to her chest in an effor tto keep her body steady. He had a wonderful singing voice.

"Oh Mary, Mary

To be this young is oh so scary  
Mary, Mary  
To be this young I'm oh so scared  
I wanna live, I wanna love  
But its a long hard road, out of hell  
I wanna live, I wanna love  
But its a long hard road, out of hell"  
"You've been listening to my music!" Was the next thought that escaped her.

"You never said forever, could ever hurt like this  
You never said forever, could ever hurt like this

Spin my way out of hell, theres nothing left this soul to sell  
Live fast and die fast too  
How many times to do this for you?  
How many times to do this for you?"  
"SlutGarden would have suited you better." She complained as Malchior sung on, wondering why the other Titans didn't notice the singing and come to investigate.

"Mary, Mary  
To be this young im oh so scared  
I wanna live, I wanna love  
But its a long hard road, out of hell  
I wanna live, I wanna love  
But its a long hard road, out of hell"  
Raven sighed, almost giving in to the dragon. She snapped back out of it with some force.

"You never said forever, could ever hurt like this  
You never said forever, could ever hurt like this"  
"You really must be desperate." She almost laughed at the absurdity of it all.

"I wanna live, I wanna love

But its a long hard road, out of hell

Long hard road, out of hell

She laid back on her bed, aware that nothing she said would make Malchior stop, choosing to just listen.

"I wanna live, I wanna love  
But its a long hard road, out of hell  
Sell my soul for anything, anything but you  
Sell my soul for anything, anything but you "

He ended the song, and there was a moment of silence. Then,

"Will you release me now?"

"Tempting as it is to have a dragon take out American Idol, ...no."

"But Raven!"

"You're going to have to do better than that, Malchior."

She walked out of the room.


	2. If you build it, they will come

Z/N: Another installment! Thank you, everyone!

Raven slept fitfully. Her room was silent and coursing with dark placid energy. She turned over.  
"If you build it, they will come..."

"Ungh..." Her dream life, normally full of things she wouldnt admit to in the daytime, was changed abruptly yoa barren landscape with no one in sight.

"If you build it, they will come."

"Who's they?" She muttered, looking around in her dream for the owner of the voice.

"They..."

Apparently the soft silky tone thought this was a good enough answer.

"Build what?" Raven asked, still asleep."

"...A...uh, let me get back to you on that, I didn't think this would work."

Raven's eyes flickered open. "Build it...they come...monkeys?"

Her mind tried to grasp at something stable. "I know that voice..."

She blinked once, turning a glare to the book which tried to look as inconspicuous as possible while still hovering in midair with Malchior's human form avatar staring at Raven.

"Malchior!"

"Er, hi?"

"I was having a peaceful sleep, and you just HAD to be an idiot and ruin it!"  
"I was bored?" The dragon was meek now, his intended diversion from the monotonous not quite the way he had imagined it.

Raven got out of her bed, grabbing the book and slamming it shut again.  
"Ow."  
"If YOU build it, THEN They'll come,and I can send you off with them!" She slammed the book into the chest again, locking it.

"And stay there!"


	3. Karaoke means tone deaf

Z/N: Im not even sure what to put here anymore.

---

Raven entered her room, and turned on the cd player. She felt Malchior's surprise at her use of the dusty object. She smirked.  
"Guess what the Titans were doing today?"

At first there was silence, then he was starved for attention. "What? Saving the world again? Eating pizza?"  
Raven shook her head. "No...They had a karaoke party."

"Kar-aeo-kay?"  
"I took the liberty of getting it all on a disc so you could listen since you werent there."

Malchior's apprehension grew. Raven never did anything nice for him, and it was highly unlikely especially after that last incident where he woke her up in the middle of the night. "I'm hesitant..."

Raven pushed the play button. Beastboy's voice was shouting Joker. Malchior winced. He saw Raven's eye was twitching, but this was her revenge, and she couldnt break first.

"Please, turn it down at least. He's absolutely horrible."  
"What?" Raven feigned as though she couldnt hear him. "I can hear you over the music!"  
"You call that atrocious tone deaf caterwauling music?" Malchior protested, aware that she was going to keep saying she couldnt hear him, but he had to try.

"Why Raven? Why do you do these things to me?"  
"You want it louder? Okay!" Raven yelled, increasing the volume.

Malchior groaned. The music wound to a halt.  
"Thank the almighty.."

Robin's attempt at singing came on now.

"Make it stop!"

"No. Not until you apologize for last night."

"Alright! I'm sorry! Please, make it stop!"

"Say you wont do it again."

"I wont! Just please!"

Raven allowed herself a small smile. Just as she was about to turn the radio off, BeastBoy called for her to come to the front room.

"RAVEN! You can't leave me like this!"  
"I'll be back in a moment. Count this as your punishment."  
And she was gone. Malchior lasted until Cyborg was finisheing his song that seemed to be consisted of random rap phrases. Raven came back.

"Alright, youve suffered enough." She pressed the stop button.

Starfire continued singing a Tamaranian folksong. Raven blinked. "Why isnt it-"

The same phrase started playing over and over again.

"Raven! Make it stop!"

"I'm trying!"

After several attempts to jam the button in, the cd player exploded.

Malchior sighed in relief. Raven looked frazzled.

"I'm going out."

"Raven! WAIT!"

Slam.


	4. Shake that thing boy!

ZN: Full title: Shake that thing boy-oops, I mean girl. Girl Girl Girl, You know you're my world!

Again, nothing is mine, and thanks, Romanticide, for getting me obsessed with MalRek.

Malchior leaned forward, looking deep into his love's eyes. The beautiful gemlike light reflected him back in a terrified view. He moved his hand to the binding over the perfect mouth, ripping it off lustily. He kissed and bit at every available area. Behind him, Raven giggled. Malchior's eye twitched as he looked back into Rorek's, who was still staring petrified at him, although a blush had now crossed his face. Do it for freedom. Do it for the EFFING Freedom... He crammed his mouth on Rorek's, exploring with his tongue almost hungrily. Raven let out a breath as Malchior's hand snaked to Rorek's lower extremities. Rorek seemed paralyzed. "Is it enough yet, Raven?" Malchior strained.

"Not nearly! I want to see some real action!"  
Malchior groaned inwardly. For the freedom, for the freedom...

A half hour later, Raven got up.

"Where are you going?" Malchior asked.

"To take a shower." She replied, eyes wide.

"Does this mean I can have my freedom?"  
"Let me think..no." She shut the door, sealing the room.

"RAVEN!"  
"Hey Mal-chior..." A voice singonged behind him lustily.

Malchior froze, eyes widening as a pair of arms encircled his waist.

"Oh hell no...RAVEN! DONT LEAVE ME LIKE THIS! RAVEN COME BACK! PLEASE!"


	5. Forums mean

The Malchior Files Chapter Five

Z/N: As usual, Malchior, Rorek and Raven are still not mine. If their creators want to give them to me though, I wouldn't say no. XD The screenames mentioned herein are explained at the bottom, and Kyrie the sorceress IS mine.

This chapter is dedicated to Pixie10111, who came up with the idea. Sorry if it's crap Pixie.

-

"Do you have any fives?"

"Go drown."

"The correct term is go fish, Malchior."

"Go phish."

"Hm.."

"I'm trying to talk to some of my fangirls here."

"Again? Your very prescence drives them crazy. I prefer to stay away from all of that."  
"There's a sorceress here who says she knew you from a past life and is in love with you."  
"Let me see!"

"Get your own computer!"  
Rorek rowned, levitating his cards back to their pile. Raven had promised them the freedom to be in her room, but it came at a cost. Niehter of them could use their powers if she wasn't in the room.

After the last incident however, Rorek wasn't at all sure what he wanted to do anyway.

"Damn you to hell's seven levels, girl!"

"Malchior! Such language!"  
"I'm arguing with BB+RAE4EVA!1!1!"  
Rorek blinked. "How did you manage to say that?"

"FLAME WAR!"

"Stop upsetting the teenage girls."  
"She started it with her impudent comments about the BeastBoy and Raven pairing! You DARE?"

Rorek flinched back, aware that Malchior's strength outweighed his own, and if they got into an argument the dragon would surely win, power or no. But Malchior was yelling at the computer. Rorek sighed, starting the internet connection on his own laptop that Raven had left to keep them occupied. "What's the sorceress' name Malchior?"

"Such foolish words for one so weak!"  
"Malchior!"  
"You shall pay for that!"  
"Hey dragon!"  
"What?.!"

"What is the sorceress' name?"  
"Kyrie. The nerve of these humans!"

"Why don't you log off and read through..Rhea Hiryuu's stories again? They seem to make you feel better."

"I've already memorized all I care to."  
"Then talk to Trenin."

"Trenin supports you more than she does me."  
Rorek grinned as Malchior's frantic typing continued. "Indeed, I forgot."

"INSOLENCE! THESE WORDS SHALL BE YOUR DOWNFALL!"

"Pixie10111?"  
"Eh?"

"Pixie. Delirium24. Last Haven. UzumakiToshiro."

"They're not online."

"Corvus Corvidae."

"He annoys me with his questions."

Rorek returned to his own computer, reading over a message from Kyrie, and blushed scarlet. "I wonder if Raven would allow me to see this woman in person?"

"ZOICYTES-SHADOW!"  
"Huh?"  
"I'll contact Zoi! She's a devoted fangirl!"  
"More like insane. Why does she follow you everywhere if not?"

"Yes! She's logging onto the Titans Go forum. Ha, see how you like these odds, BB+RAE4EVA!1!1!"

"Don't you think setting two...well, a dragon and a necromancer against a single teenage girl is a little harsh?"  
"She deserves it!"

"..."  
"MUAHAHAHAHA! Bask in my glory, foolish mortal!"

----

Alright, okay, the screenames were actually all real and on the Romanticide forum in the forum section of this site, except for BB+RAE4EVA!1!1! That was based on a lot of annoying fans all compiled together. For anyone actually called BB+RAE4EVA!1!1, I have a few things to say.

1. Get rid of the abbreviations and attempt at "733T'.

2. Why would you name yourself that?  
3. Yes, Malchior WOULD hate you. Did you actually think he wouldn't?

4. Congratulations! You've appeared in a fic!


	6. Getting Hot

Z/N: Yes, I have given in to temptation once more. I looked through the favorites and alerts on this and had no idea who most of you were. This story's popular.

Alright, this chapter is to satisfy Trenin, and so many others.

--

Raven reclined on her bed. "So you're saying that..."

"Mordecai was one of the most mistrusted of his era, yes." Malchior completed.

He was back in the book, along with Rorek. When Raven was in the room, she preferred to have them inside of the tome, still getting used to the idea of sharing her room with a wizard and a dragon.

"But all of those things he did..just managed to make them distrust him even more?" Raven questioned.

"Sadly, yes. There always were certain people who resisted change of any sort."

"Tell me about it." Raven scoffed, holding the book with her.

"But his spells and ideas have remained beneficial to anyone interested in the more archaic arts for wuite some time."

"They're very interesting. Especially that rush of power." Raven admitted.

"Ah, if you wish to address the 'rush of power', then the best example is the sorceress Kyrie of the Black Flame." Malchior responded.

"Rorek's girlfriend?"  
"Indeed, although there is quite a bit more to it than that.."

Raven was curious. She settled in to listen to what would undoubtedly be an intesrsting lesson on Rorwek and Malchior's history.

"It started before the final battle that you read of in our book. Kyrie and Rorek.."

A knock sounded at Raven's door. "Raven? Who are you talking to?"

It was Robin, concerned again. Raven's eyes widened as she heard the keypad numbers being dialed.

She jumped up, opened a random dresser drawer, and shoved the book in it.

Robin stood in the doorway, an expression of mingled concern and suspicion on his face.

"What is it?" Raven shifted instanly back into monotone.

Inside the drawer, Malchior attempted to listen to their conversation. But a strange reaction from Rorek kept distracting him.

_'What is it now, wizard?'_

Rorek's embarrassment grew. Malchior guessed that it had to do with his talk of Kyrie earlier.

_'I was merely telling dear Raven the backstory, nothing of the scandalous affair between the three of us.'_

Rorek was positively heated now. _'That's not it! Just...look around. Do you know where we are?'_

Malchior sighed, edging the book cover open a bit more.

_'Of course I do! Raven shoved us in one of her...drawers...'_

For a few moments there was silence.

Then Malchior cackled. _'Ah, I see what has you so embarrassed.'_

_'It's not funny!'_

_'Yes it is. Who would have thought that Raven wear those? Admittedly, black and purple are nice colors for her.'_

_'Shut up shut up!'_

_'Oh, and I see something here...look, frills!'_

_'I'm not listening!'_

_'leather...lace..'_

_'Necronom Hesmeric-'_

_'Is that one of those things from Victoria's Secret?'_

The book caught on fire.

Raven, sensing something was wrong, cut short her interrogation and shoved Robin out the door with a half-hearted excuse. She dashed back to her dresser, and threw open each drawer until she found the flaming book.

"What the hell?.!" She whispered, putting out the flames. Only then did she notice a piece of particularly condemning underwear wrapped around the book.

Silence reigned for two whole minutes as Raven didn't dare to say anything and Rorek waited in anxiety.

Then Malchior spoke up again. "Well well. You really don't know someone until you've seen their underwear. I'm surprised, Raven. I would never have guessed it. Although this piece particularly suits you."

With a growl, Raven flung the book into the old chest, the lid slamming down.

"Now look what you've done! I could have been talking to Kyrie right now!"

"Kyrie is the first thing you think of after being in that drawer?" Malchior sneered.

Rorek was silent in mortification once more, allowing Malchior a parting shot.

"I'd much rather see Raven in them."

Raven blushed, slamming the door behind her as she left.

-

Well, there it was. A bit different than what I had planned, but OH WELL! I hope it was another great installment!

ZS


	7. Carve like McGee's Alice

Z/N: It's back! This chapter idea was created by Rhea Hiryuu. Yes, THE Rhea! -

As usual, I only own Kyrie.

-

"MALCHIOR!" Rorek shouted.

"What?" The dragon asked innocently.

"You know EXACTLY what I'm talking about!" Rorek fumed. "Stop it!"  
Raven sighed, attempting to finish her own work apart from them.

"Stop what? Oh, you mean stop making you look like the incompetent wizard you really are?" Malchior grinned sardonically. He turned back to his own carving.

The other Titans had gone Trick-Or-Treating. Robin hadn't seemed especially happy, complaining that they needed to keep an extra watch tonight, but at his other three teammates' insistance, he had grudgingly went along. Raven had bid them farewell only fifteen minutes ago, and Robin had taken a communicator, a sure sign they'd be gone for a while. So she freed Rorek and Malchior from their semi-imprisonment, yearning for at least a little companionship of intellect. Now the three of them were engaged in none other than a pumpkin carving contest. Raven slowly and methodically chipped at a delicate small patch.

"I SWEAR DRAGON, I WILL-"  
"Rorek!" Raven shouted just loud enough to be heard. His own shouting had caused her to miss her mark and gash out a whole section of Robin's eye. It wasn't the first time it had happened. The Boy Wonder was beginning to look like he had been run over. She sighed, annoyed at their childish bickering, and set forth to right the strange slash, incorporating it somehow into the final scene.

"It's so easy Rorek. All you have to do is use the knife as an extension of your body."

Rorek glared down at his own tools. Malchior had gone through several butcher knives, testing each one as though he were in a duel. Finally selecting one he presumably liked, he had begun to hack. Rorek, however, immediately chose the smaller, more delicate plastic tools Raven had brought out from the actual kit.

"I don't have pointy claws growing out from my hands." He sulked, beginning to wish the orange...whatever it was, was strong enough to poke Malchior with.

"Pity." The dragon responded, angling his head and setting to work once more.   
Rorek snuck a glance. Malchior had chosen, not surprisingly, Raven to etch into the pumpkin. However, this portrait was full of life and energy, probably the way he had been creating it made it seem so...scary.

Rorek shuddered and turned around, intent upon outcarving Malchior. His own test subject was Kyrie. He was immensely proud of himself for asking her to be his, and even more so when she accepted, filling him in that now they were doing what was called 'dating'.

"Dating...We are dating..." Rorek murmured, trying the word out.

Malchior looked back, an amused smile on his face. "Really? Well she'll probably be old and decrepit by the time you finish her carving. You'll have to do it all over again."

Rorek seethed. He glanced around for something to entertain himself at throwing. All of the items in the main room were too big. The couch, the stereo, the table, that machine on the floor looked too expensive...sighing, he returned to his work.

After a few more minutes of complete silence, Raven became worried. She quickly finished a strand and gave her etching a once over of approval before turning to see what damage had been done.

Malchior and Rorek were each holding their respective pumpkins, glaring at each other. The raw magic sparking around the room made her shudder involuntarily.

"What IS it?" She hissed, trying to abate a conflict.

"He says his pumpkin is better than mine." Malchior growled.

"And he claims that thing is better than my work of art." Rorek shot back.

Raven rolled her eyes. "Stop it. They're both lovely."

"Of course you would say that, you are the focus of his picture."

"I like them both equally." Raven replied in monotone, hoping for a distraction.  
She got one. The doorbell to the Titans Tower rang, and all battle beginnings froze.

"I'll go see who it is." Raven whispered, unsure. If it was an enemy, she hoped that they would at least pull themselves together enough tofight on the same side. Although, she doubted it. What enemy would be stupid enough to walk up and ring their doorbell?

A woman in white, only slightly older than raven, smiled at her. "I've come to see Rorek."

Raven blinked. The sheer white offset with hints of black was overwhelming. Even her hair was, well, silvery white. "Should have guessed." Raven murmured. She turned her head. "Rorek! Kyrie's here!"

Immediately, shufflings and bangs were heard from the main hall. Rorek arrived, slighly disheveled. Raven sighed, and wandered off to make sure Malchior didn't get bored alone and burn something.

"Hello. I wasn't expecting to see you." Rorek smiled, running a hand through his hair.

Kyrie nodded. "I know." She held out a pumpkin to him. "I made it, and decided it should be yours."

"I made one too, you should have it." Rorek replied, swapping pumpkins with her.

Kyrie smiled delightedly. "Oh, it's beautiful!"

"It's not all that good, it was rather rushed..."

"It's beautiful because you made it." Kyrie replied, leaning forward to kiss him. "I'll see you later, alright?"

"Y-Yes, good night."  
"Hsave a wonderful evening." Kyrie waved, levitating and finally teleporting away again.

Rorek, still stunned, slowly made his way back to the main living room.   
Malchior and Raven turned, curious.

"I gave her my pumpkin."

Raven blinked at the non-sequitor statement.

"Well, that means you don't have a pumpkin to enter! Dear Raven had just decided to judge them."

Rorek snapped out of his daze. "I do too! Here, she gave me hers!"

He turned it around, meeting gasps. At their expressions, Rorek realized that he had no idea what was etched into it. He set it on the counter and walked around it to get a view.

Malchior's dragon form dominated the top of the pumpkin, gleaming predatorial eyes downset on the land below. Rorek himself was in the middle, gazing up with a look of satisfied knowledge.

"Kyrie wins." Raven managed.

"How can she win? She's not even here!" Malchior shouted.

"She wins." Raven repeated, tearing her eyes forcefully away from the diorama.

"She cheated and used magic." Malchior hissed.

"That wasn't-in the-rules..." Rorek came to, realizing he could have also done the same. "Damn."

"I want to meet this Kyrie." Malchior decided. "She seems...very interesting."  
"Well she obviously knows you guys from 'The Great Battle'. Don't you remember her?" Raven's voice died down as she really took a good look at her pumpkin. "Ugh."

The others followed her gaze. "Robin? Why Robin?"

"He seemed...simple to etch."

A moment's silence as they contemplated the truth of that assesment.

"He looks like he was run over and turned into a pirate." Malchior broke the silence.

"...yeah...Let's um, get rid of this. When he gets back, I'll have a lot of explaining to do. He'll think I secretly want to kill him or something."

"You don't?" Rorek grinned. "It certainly looks like it."

Raven ignored him. "Malchior? If you'd do the honors?"

"Yes! I get to smash something!"

Rorek sighed, walking well away from the carnage that was about to take place. He gazed into Kyrie's pumpkin. "I guess there are different kinds of wins.."

-

Okay, um.

Well, this turned out ...different, but I hope you guys still liked it! More romance and less poke-fun-at-romance, but it's about time there was some Rormance in here. ...Yeah.

Next Time, unless anyone has any ideas:

Rorek and Kyrie go on a date! Malchior and Raven spy on them!

I will soon be setting up an area in Romanticide exclusively for Malchior Files ideas anyone may have. I'll probably do all of them, as long as they aren't too crazy.


	8. Something's Fishy

Special interception: This episode of Mal FIles was created by EoEDaD, whom I insist you go check out. And a big thanks to Trenin as well, for naming her fish Rorek and making this whole idea possible.

-Zoi

---

The first thing Raven noticed when she walked into the Titans' common room was the emotional aura. She usually tried to respect her teammates' privacy, both because they were her friends and because she was fairly certain that she didn't _want_ to know what was going on inside their heads (Beast Boy and Cyborg especially), but the wave of anticipation that hit her as she slid back the doors was so intense she was surprised it didn't knock her over.

The second thing was the silence. She hadn't thought it was possible for Beast Boy and Cyborg to be in the same room as each other and a video game system without automatically bursting into random profanities and trash-talking, but apparently she was wrong.

And the third thing…

"Happy birthday, Raven!"

Raven could feel her eye start to twitch as a flood of balloons and streamers rained down from the ceiling and her friends jumped out from behind various pieces of furniture. Really, she was happy that she had lived to see her seventeenth birthday, but that didn't mean she was any happier about this one than she was about the last. She hadn't developed a sudden fondness for bright colors and people grinning at her and—and—

Dear gods, were they going to _sing?_

She watched with steadily growing horror as Robin emerged from the kitchen carrying a lit cake (it was eight o'clock! Why, why, _why_ was there a _cake_ at this ungodly hour?) and looking every bit as uncomfortable as she felt. She wasn't particularly sympathetic to his plight; she had counted on him to stop this kind of thing! She didn't care what Starfire had said to convince him, or how well this torture was meant: she wasn't pleased at all by this, and he was going to learn that. Soon.

Robin seemed to pick up something of her thoughts, because he flinched and set down the cake hard enough to make the cups rattle. On cue, everyone burst into a loud and painfully bad rendition of "Happy Birthday." It seemed that the only thing they had learned from their last attempt was that if they didn't give her a chance to refuse, she couldn't stop them. Raven was sure that blood was pouring from her ears by the time it was done, and felt a momentary pang of regret that there were no recording devices in sight. She could have Malchior screaming in pain within the first five seconds.

"Now you must extinguish the lighted sticks of wax!" Starfire exclaimed.

"Yeah, blow out the candles, Rae!" Beast Boy chimed in.

She looked at him, and then slowly leaned forward. Before she blew, she whispered "Igniculiprae," and watched with satisfaction as the flames from the tiny candles merged together in the air and floated to hang a hair's breadth from Beast Boy's face. She had found this particular charm in an old spellbook, and had been dying for a chance to try it ever since. Now for the good part. Raven stared at the light, willing it to change shape, and had to repress a grin as it spelled "R-A-V-E-N" in front of Beast Boy's terrified nose.

He squeaked. "Ra-ven. Got it. Umm…" He glanced around desperately for a distraction. "Want some cake? It's a new recipe this time…"

"No." Raven brushed past the boy, allowing the hovering fire to die out.

Beast Boy looked on, crushed, as she started her daily tea-making ritual. "But… but… it's good! Watch!" To prove his point, he grabbed a fork and shoveled some of the dessert into his mouth, only to spit it back out the next moment. "Blech! Dude, what did Starfire _put_ in this?" He looked at Raven sheepishly. "Uh, never mind."

Raven wondered who had decided it would be a good idea to let Starfire bake _anything_ as she escaped to her room, hearing as she left Cyborg and Beast Boy start brawling and Robin trying to comfort Starfire as the girl wept over her culinary ineptness. Sometimes she thought that the Tower could quite easily be classified as a mental asylum.

When her bedroom door slid back, she took one look at the scene behind it and rather quietly exploded.

Malchior looked up from his attempt to strangle Rorek and winced at the expression on her face. "Ah, Raven…"

He gulped as her eyes started glowing. "Um, hi?"

Raven's gaze seemed to lock on him in much the same way a missile locks in on its target. "What are you doing?"

Reluctantly, Malchior let go of Rorek's throat and stood. "He insulted you," the dragon mumbled by way of explanation.

Rorek left off massaging the bruises on his neck to snap, "I did _not. You're_ the one who ran mad and tried to kill me. All I said was that I thought Kyrie was prettier, which is perfectly tr—"

He was abruptly cut off as Malchior's fist drew back and swung at his nose. Just before it connected, a barrier of black magic flickered into existence and intercepted its flight.

"Ow!" Malchior exclaimed, pulling back and nursing his injured hand. "What was that for?"

"Stop. Being. Stupid." Every word was enunciated with a deadly precision, and Malchior immediately stopped worrying about some bruised knuckles and started feeling more concerned for other parts of his body. Like his head. Raven was _scary_ when she was angry, and apparently she didn't appreciate someone fighting over her perceived attractiveness.

He inched backwards as she stared at him as though trying to decide which chunk of flesh to rip off first. He noticed Rorek grinning smugly behind her back and promised himself that if he got out of this alive, he would pound the wizard to a bloody pulp.

Or not. After all, that's what got him into this in the first place.

Raven made up her mind, and he did _not_ like where she was looking. Sure, under other circumstances he would be fine with it—more than fine with it, actually—but things being as they were…

He didn't want to die a eunuch, damn it!

"Raven? Look, I really don't think this is necessary…"

Her expression didn't alter one iota. "Azarath, Metrion—"

Malchior had closed his eyes and prepared for some major pain when there was a hesitant knock on the door. "Raven?" It was Beast Boy's voice. "Can you open up, please? I kinda forgot something…"

Raven's expression didn't become any less menacing as she absentmindedly shooed the two into her closet. If this was about the utterly inane party, they should just give up now. "Yes?" she asked, inching the door open.

The green boy took one look at her face and blanched. "I, uh, maybe I'll come back later, 'kay?"

"_What?_"

He flinched and chuckled nervously. "Um, heh… happy birthday?"

Raven blinked as Beast Boy shoved something into her hands and fled. She heard a thud from somewhere in her closet and turned, setting her newly acquired glass bowl down on her desk. She didn't want to break it if she had to split the rivals up.

Fortunately, they emerged relatively unscathed and merely glaring at each other, though Malchior stopped even that when he noticed her. Hm. Perhaps she should lose her temper more often.

"It's your birthday?" Rorek asked. "You should have told us."

Raven shrugged. She had been hoping to avoid all the fuss, but obviously that had been a wasted effort. She supposed having the world end on your last birthday really made the date stick.

"Well, what did you get?" Malchior said impatiently.

Raven motioned to the present sitting on her desk, and then looked at it again herself. Before, she'd thought it was just a glass bowl (if a rather pretty one), but…

"They gave you a _fish?_" Malchior looked outraged. "And a cheap one, at that! That thing wouldn't even make half of a decent meal!"

"You don't eat it," Raven explained as she stared at the beta fish that was swimming aimlessly around in its little tank, completely unperturbed by Malchior's yelling. "It's supposed to be a… pet." Why her teammates had thought she would _want_ one, though, was inexplicable. She had enough on her hands with keeping Malchior and Rorek from killing each other, though her friends didn't know that, but still… a _pet?_

Rorek walked over to look at it more closely. "It's a nice gesture," he said uncertainly, "though it seems a bit…"

"Stupid," Malchior filled in. "It's stupid."

Raven shrugged. She didn't really disagree with either of them. Now that she thought about it, "nice but stupid" could be used to describe most of her friends' actions.

There was a contemplative sort of silence until Malchior said suddenly, "You should name it."

"What?" She was sure that she hadn't heard him properly. Maybe he suggested killing it, instead?

"Yes, it's not right that it is unnamed," Rorek agreed.

Raven looked from one to the other, trying to figure out when they started agreeing with each other over the most ridiculous ideas. Maybe you only got it if you were born a thousand years ago. "Okay…" she said hesitantly.

"And you should name it after the bravest, smartest, most devoted person of your acquaintance!" Malchior declared.

A muscle in Raven's cheek twitched warningly. She should have known.

"Bravest, most intelligent, and devoted to the one he loves?" she asked pointedly. "Well, then…"

She turned back to the fish. "It's going to be confusing, having two Roreks, but I think we can manage."

"Yes, thank you—wait—WHAT?" Malchior bellowed.

Rorek turned bright red. "Ah, thank you, Raven."

Malchior was already plotting how to murder and eat the fish under his breath. Raven sighed. Now she had to protect her new pet, as well…

… But the look on Malchior's face was definitely worth it.


	9. The Hunt is ON

Z/N: Another delay in the date. I just can't seem to make it as funny as I'd like. So instead, here's an idea by EoEDaD.

And part of Kyrie's nature is the ability to calm people down. Luckily for Raven.

This one's rather long. Hopefully it makes up for a bit of the absence.

-

Rorek was growing accustomed to the random things that Malchior did when he was bored.

But he would never stop asking about them.

"Now what are you doing?"

Malchior looked up from arranging Raven's CDs in piles on the floor.

"Making a hoard. Why?"  
"You're making a...hoard? Out of Raven's CDs?"

"Yes."  
"...Why?"  
"They're shiny."

Rorek exchanged a look with the fish.

"You're drawn to shiny things, aren't you?"  
"Yes. Aren't you?"  
Apparently, stocking up on CDs had somehow made Malchior more polite.

"I do confess to liking the opal stone."  
"Hmph. You're not a hoarder unless you stock up on everything shiny, in large amounts."

"Why would I do that?"  
"So you could..." Malchior paused.

"You don't have a reason, do you?"  
"Of course I do! It's just none of your business!"

"Fine."  
"What's that supposed to mean?"  
"...Okay, as in, all right, I won't push the subject?"

"I don't believe you."

Rorek sighed. "Not surprising."  
"What's THAT supposed to mean?"  
"Don't you have anything better to do?"

"As a matter of fact, I do." Malchior stated, getting up.

"What's your grand idea?"  
"Come on, we're leaving."  
"What?"

"I said come on!" Malchior grabbed Rorek's arm, hauling him over to the window.

"There's a weak spot in the wards. I can hit it just right and we'll be free."  
"Don't do that!"  
"Why not?" Malchior asked, already powering up.

"It's...we're supposed to stay in here!"  
"There aren't enough shinies in here."

Becoming confused was getting familiar to Rorek.

"What?"  
"We're going to go look for more shinies."  
"Why do I have to come?"  
"To help me look, obviously."

Before Rorek could find the words to protest again, Malchior attacked the ward, sending a split large enough for a hurricane to come through.

"Well, now what?" Rorek sighed. "We're surrounded by water."

Silence.

Rorek turned around. "Malch-IOR!"

The dragon seized Rorek in his claws and took off over the water.

-

Raven slid into her room, feeling a bit lonely. It was odd, but she found herself welcoming the chance to talk to Rorek and Malchior. Strange as they were, they understood her to the point where she didn't have to explain everything she meant.

She glanced around. "Um..."

A pyramid had been made out of her CDs in the middle of the room.

The curtains were open, and no one was in sight.

She reached out to feel the wards, wondering if something had broken in.

Her eye twitched. No, something had broken out.

Something that would regret ever thinking about anything without her permission ever again once she found him.

-

"Oh, very subtle!" Rorek yelled over the rush of wind as he dangled precariously from Malchior's claws.

"Shut up." Malchior replied lazily, shifting his grip loose. The fear of falling drained the wizard's mind of any smart comebacks.

"I like how they run around like little insects down there."

"Uhhhhh.."

"It's invigorating, being so much bigger and better than they are."  
"Aaaaahhh..."

"I could just flame a tiny bit and catch a whole building on fire, and then it would spread."

"AAAHHHHH!"

"Oh settle down. I'm not going to drop you."

-

"I swear I saw it! It was a giant flying lizard heading in the direction of the mall!"  
"Did you see that?"  
"What's going on?"  
"That was the weirdest thing-"  
"I couldn't believe it!"  
Kyrie tried very hard to keep her eye from twitching.

She turned and walked towards the mall, listing her wards in her head. Silently she added a fireproof ward.

It would be extremely stupid to simply rush after Malchior alone.

Of course, foolish things simply happened to her. Avoiding them would be pointless.

She took off at a run.

-

Malchior strode up to the mall as if he couldn't hear all of the people searching for the dragon that had suddenly disappeared.

"Now, we should be able to find a store with shinies fairly quickly. I need more for my hoard. I must have more shinies."  
Rorek had no choice but to follow him, as Malchior still gripped him by the arm.

The wizard made a strangled noise, dazed.

"Here we are! A CD store! Exactly what I was looking for."  
Malchior's eyes narrowed as he entered the large department, scanning all around.

"You go look in that direction, and I'll look over here."  
He shoved Rorek at an aisle, going the opposite way.

-

Kyrie was panting by the time she caught up with them, not daring to use any magic to speed herself.

She had no idea what Malchior wanted in the mall, but if he couldn't get it, things would get ugly fast.

She followed the faint but unmistakable confident vibes of Malchior to the CD Emporium.

"Curioser and Curiouser.."

Stepping into the store, she found it was much larger than it had appeared.

Malchior's aura had been lost among all of the other customers.

She took a chance, and half of the store to search.

-

Raven's eye was working overtime on twitching. It seemed everyone in Jump City had seen Malchior go by.

She could only hope it would die down before the other Titans got wind of the unusual occurrence.

"Which way did the dragon go?"  
"Whoah, it's Raven!"  
In retrospect, changing would have been a good idea.

"I asked-"  
"Okay, calm down! It headed off towards the mall, I don't know why."  
Neither did she, but she diligently changed her course.

-

Kyrie rounded a corner under a particularly bright light.

Something slammed into her. She struggled to keep her balance, and glanced down.

"...Rorek?"

The wizard whimpered.

"Rorek, your head's in my...what's wrong?"

No reply.

"Rorek, it's me, Kyrie."  
A contented sigh.

Kyrie rolled her eyes, struggling to hold back a smile.

"Are you sure you can breathe like that? Come on, I have to find Malchior."  
That was apparently the wrong thing to say. Rorek clung to her even tighter.

Kyrie awkwardly patted him on the head. "I'm sorry."

-

Raven entered the far end of the mall, concentrating as hard as she could to get any sign of Malchior's presence.

There was none. She sighed, willing herself to calm down. It wouldn't do anyone any good if she continued like this.

Taking a deep breath, she walked by the stores, scanning each of them as she passed.

-

"Malchior, what are you doing?"  
He wondered when the wizard had turned into a woman, then turned around.  
"Oh, it's you. I seem to be having some difficulties collecting my shinies."

"...What?"  
"I swear, you are so much like him it's uncanny." Malchior sighed, glancing at Rorek, who seemed unable to let go of Kyrie's midsection.

"You're trying to buy CDs?"  
"I don't have to try to take over the world every time I go out, do I?"  
"Um, no. What have you got?"  
Kyrie was remarkable at changing paces quickly. She scanned his collection, taking a few out and replacing them with a few different ones from the shelf behind them.

"There. Now, How much did that come to?"

The man at the cash register checked all of the disks out.  
Malchior's gaze wandered to some gum sitting on the counter.

"What's that?"  
"It's just gum."  
"It's got Raven on it."  
Kyrie picked up a packet. "You're right. All right, three packs of these as well sir."

"You got it lady."  
Malchior beamed, pleased at how well Kyrie could pick up hints.

"Your total is a hundred and fifty bucks."

To her credit, Kyrie's hand barely shook as she removed her wallet and handed the man a two hundred dollar bill.

He bagged the CDs as she deposited the change in her pocket, flinching.

"Um. Don't do this again for a while."  
"I won't have any need to."

"Here's your pack of gum, this one's mine and there's one for Rorek. Share."  
"Fine."

"MALCHIOR!"  
They turned. Raven stood in the doorway, eyes glowing.

"Azarath Metrion ZINTHOS!"

"Moetsuku Kaosu Shinen!" Kyrie countered, sending the two jets of light to dissipate together.

Raven seemed to come to. "Malchior. You have two seconds to explain."  
"I-but-"

"Raven, it's all right. He wanted to buy you some gifts."  
"He flew across the city in broad daylight to-buy me...gifts..?"  
Kyrie nodded.

Raven hardly believed her, but it was better than the alternative. She decided to go with the lie.

"All right, what did you get?"  
Malchior pulled out a random cd.

"Within Temptation? Hey, that's really good."  
With Kyrie standing there, Raven found it easier to calm down.

The sorceress' energy promoted peace and unity.

"And I found some of this gum."  
"Oh boy. Not that..."  
"I'd really like to hear the story of how you became a mascot for imported gum." Kyrie slid in.

"Well...all right." Raven eyed the bags Malchior carried, taking a guess at who had payed for them.

"Come back to the tower, and I'll tell you all the story. It's...certainly interesting."

As Kyrie walked next to Raven, she caught the girl's eye.  
"I'll clear up the mess with the town. The others will never even hear about it."  
Raven sighed, relieved. "That's one step away from being a doormat, Kyrie. Why do you do all of this?"

Kyrie cocked her head to the side, appearing to consider for a moment.

"For my friends."

Raven smiled. That was answer enough.


	10. And a Very Merry Christmas to You Too

K/N: As usual, Malchior and Rorek who is not named, and the Titans who do not appear do not belong to me, that is WB and so on. Kyrie is mine, use with permission and a link to the final whathaveyou only. More information at the bottom. I make no apologies for this.

-----

Chapter 10. And a Very Merry Christmas To You Too

It wasn't very Christmassy music, Kyrie thought, as she maneuvered past the large royal purple dragon curled up in her living room. He was almost napping, and moved his tail so she could walk by without plastering herself to the stereo set. The song itself was one that was almost the opposite of Christmas. Or, at least, the type of Christmas usually celebrated in daylight, and in large groups. There was something odd about hearing Crazy Bitch as she wandered through the house setting up the last of the tinsel. Not that anyone would come over anyway. This was simply something she had to do, and Malchior simply had to lay there and not help. That's how it had been before, and that is how it was shaping up to be this year. Apparently her hospitality was easier for him to accept than the Titans, after landing himself in an alternate dimension.

Now that was certainly a pain to fix. As she set her cup of hot chocolate down on the counter, she wondered a bit vaguely as to why she was drinking it. She certainly had no use for it apart from around this season. truth be told, she much preferred Apple Cider. And Christmas Music itself would only come on in a few hours. Something about the repetition of it for an entire month made her zone out.

She was spared the wondering about her less than thrilled mind by the chime of the doorbell. Malchior was quicker. By the time she had turned around, his garnet eye had opened and a silvery grin took over much of his mouth. He changed to his human form. Just like that, no 'poof', or other such smoke, noise or light. He just was, suddenly. And now that he was, he was also going to the door. She rolled her eyes and followed him at a safe distance.

The man at the door wasn't himself too impressive, indeed, he was busy being both in awe of his delivery and of the two of them. Malchior wouldn't stop that smile, for one. It was not a reassuring look of comfort. Kyrie shoved him away from the door with effort, flashing her own apologetic grin at the poor boy. This seemed to snap him out of his trance, and he held out two clipboards, one for each of them to sign. She scribbled her name, curiosity getting the better of her, and handed it back at the same time Malchior finished his. The boy seemed to want to say something, but stopped himself, and dashed back to the vans. Yes, vans. Now that Kyrie could see out the door, she noticed that there were two UPS trucks. One a great deal larger than the other. The typical muscle-bound men were heaving a definitely large crate to the door, and after they managed to accomplish that, they returned for a second, slimmer box. Kyrie blinked as this too was unceremoniously dropped onto her porch. One of them handed her a check for delivery costs, and that perked her up. Only one person had never gotten the hang of paying for gift delivery themselves. She ruffled around for the appropriate, and somewhat expensive, amount, and handed it over. The men then left without saying anything.

Silence descended. The atmosphere was trying it's best to be helpful, and seasonal, without actually snowing. Malchior leaned against the door frame, eyeing her with interest as she directed her own attention to the task of looking dainty while scratching at the hard wood surface of the biggest box. That one was marked with a K across the top, in the somewhat hurried version of an ornate style. She could feel the dragon smirking behind her.

"Oh, tough choice, morsel. Dignity or gift."  
"You know....you...could....be of...help..." She responded, tugging at the lid, now frowning slightly.

Before she even really noticed it, he had changed back to his more natural form, sticking his head out the door and flaming at the package. Kyrie automatically jumped away, caught between what to lecture him about first: Safety where she was involved, not trying to do that on purpose to get a rise out of her, being inconspicuous, or attempting to do things the hard way on purpose. When she hit the ground, however, the gift inside the package rolled out. She screamed, Malchior blinked, puzzled, and then it started to snow.

It took a while, but they managed to get the thing inside.

Thing, was an accurate word for it. As long as it had taken them to get it inside, it took longer for Malchior to attempt to calm down.

"He.......he got you a.......haha, ha....he..he got.......!"  
"A Chimera head."  
"He.......Ahahahaha!"

"Yes."  
"Haha, haa....I apologize, it's just that.....that....! Ahahahahaaaa!"

"Yes."

"Haha. Ha....haha. Ha..... .....Ha. Ahem."  
"Yes."  
Malchior noticed for the first time, that Kyrie's expression was changing from one of desolation, to her trademark look of 'I am going to make this work, no matter what, and I will be happy for it.'

He shook his head lightly. "Kyr, you know that he works in our original time. To him, this would be.......a gift for a respected foe, or a courtship ritual."

"Well."

"......Kyrie? It's a courtship ritual."

"We're engaged."  
"Ah, yes, but....."  
"My my, we have to get this hung up somewhere!" She suddenly smiled, and stood up, clapping her hands together and surveying the walls for an appropriate place to hang the ghastly thing. Malchior had to admit that it wasn't the most noble looking death, the thing's grimace never failed to throw him into a confusion of laughter and disgust.

As Kyrie walked into the other room to presumably grab some nails and other such useful bits, he took the time to open his own gift.

Kyrie stared at the wall where she had hung the head, her eyes unfocusing and then quickly resuming their staring, the only hint that she was less than thrilled. Her nose wrinkled in anticipation of the smell that was sure to come later. By this time, the music had turned to some sort of cabaret, equally unseasonable, but a welcome addition to the new decor. She stepped back and eyed it critically for another moment, then nodded decisively and swept back into the kitchen. And promptly fell over, the shock of what greeted her too much for her body to keep up with.

Malchior was turning around, admiring himself. He was in a dress. A dress made of mythril.

When he heard the thump of her involuntarily hitting the ground, he turned back with a dazzling smile. "Well, I'm quite happy with my gift."

--------

For those of you who don't know,

1. Rorek was scatterbrained and labeled the boxes incorrectly, forgetting that he was being modern and falling back into old ways with the Chimera head.

2. Wow, Rorek is never called by name in this entire chapter.

3. This came from the Happy Christmas War is Over RP in the Romanticide Forum. Short as it was, it's given me a lot of good ideas.

4. I have not yet decided why Malchior would eat a Mythril Dress, but I am working on figuring that out.


End file.
